Allergies

I have an apology to make to all my friends and family who suffer from allergies. I will admit, I have always secretly thought that you made them a bigger deal than they should be. I will not tell you the thoughts I had about your ability to tolerate a little discomfort. Please understand, I am allergic to mangoes, but other than being sad because I like them, it hasn't inconvenienced my life unduly. Today I went to the Dr. because I have been convinced for the past three weeks that I had a sinus infection and hoped it would go away on it's own. It didn't, so I broke down, called the Dr., and was convinced I would walk out with a prescription. Imagine my chagrin when I was told that I am allergic to something in the air. Impossible, I thought, that allergies could produce this level of pain and discomfort. I thought seasonal allergies were all about itchy eyes and sneezing, not sinus pressure, ear ache, overwhelming fatigue and coughing. I was so impressed with my fortitude to keep functioning when I thought it was a massive infection taking over my poor sinuses, but now I feel deflated. There is no glory in soldiering through allergies. There can be no sense of accomplishment in something so mundane. So, I tell myself to suck it up (not literally, there is too much phlegm involved for that), and warn my friends without allergies to be cautious in how they secretly (or not so secretly) judge those who do--Karma has a vicious sense of humor.

Mom's Day

I gave myself a wonderful gift today. It was my first day off in almost a month. So, I skipped church, stayed in bed most of the day, didn't get out of my pj's at all, and forgot the outside world existed. I feel rejuvated and no longer like biting someone's (anyone's) head off. I did call my mom for Mother's Day.I know that most people think their mom's are amazing, but mine is truly extraordinary. She left a bad marriage and became a single parent when I was two, my sister was 4, and my brother was 9 months. She never went on welfare, but put herself through Nursing School, while working and raising us. She graduated with a 4.0. She worked hard to provide for us, and always found time to make each of us feel special and loved. Through all of it she sacrificed her sleep, her time, and her emotional reserves. She gave up own dreams to help ours come true; her health to ensure we had the necessities of life; her pride to ask for help when she couldn't do it all. Her body is paying the price for all of those years of walking the hospital floors, working the nightshift, and giving up what little sleep she could have had to spend time with us. If I ever try to say these things to her, she assures me that there were no dreams more important than the three of us, and the pain she lives with every day is a small price to pay for the joy of seeing the people we have become. (Of course, she then throws in a tongue-in-cheek plea for grandchildren; and I've lost my pre-marriage get out of jail free card in which she would drop the subject after I assured her I could provide her with grandchildren at any time). She is one of my best friends. One of the first people I call when there is good new, bad news, or just news. She has been by my side (either physically or emotionally) for every important event of my life. She believes in me more than any other person on Earth (followed closely by my husband and brother).

She doesn't understand how amazing she is, but I do.